Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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