What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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