it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
