my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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