Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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