She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
