im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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