the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
