so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
