is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
