Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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