Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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