I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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