Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
