I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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