it wasn't lemon gatorade
I think I am morally bankrupt
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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