Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
