it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
