i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
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I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
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Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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