there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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