just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
