we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
