first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
