Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize