ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
