Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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