I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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