i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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