I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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