you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
