Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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