I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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