He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
