David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
