we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
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we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
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there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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