508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
