Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize