Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
