when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
