Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
