4 words: hood of his car
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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