I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
