She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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