fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
