maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i just had sex bonerless
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
