oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
