There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
