you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Semen is not good for contacts.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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