I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
How naked do you want me to be?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
