I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
