But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
