Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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