so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
