so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
