What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
