all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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