My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
