guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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